Beau's MRI

Beau had his MRI early this morning. I was so nervous...I can't even begin to imagine how Beau and Melissa were feeling. Beau called at 9:20AM and when I saw his number I just about got sick. He informed me that he had his MRI. The doctor said his tumor hadn't shrunk any more...bummer...but he said it hadn't grown either. This is very, very, good news. He doesn't have to do chemo or radiation. YAY!! Beau also said that the doctor told him "he could live the rest of his life like this". Meaning he has a tumor and huge hole in his brain...but he will be able to live a "normal" life. Do you understand what this means? He could live to be a grumpy old man.

It is truly a miracle. I know it is because of faith and the power of prayer that Beau is doing so well. I am so happy!

Support Group

I have to be honest with you, I was not thrilled when Romi told me about a Brain Tumor Support Group and asked me if I wanted to join her and Beau. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to support my brother but I knew it was going to be extremely difficult. Sometimes it is easier (but not better...I know) to just pretend that none of this is happening. I knew if I went to a support group I would have to really admit that my brother has a brain tumor and that is so hard to do. I think about it every day but it is different to sit and chat about it with others who have a brain tumor or those who have a loved one with a brain tumor. It's a scary realization and one I would rather pretend wasn't happening.There was a lady named Molly who really touched my heart. She was so honest and real. I know this was a support group for people with brain tumors but I felt like it would pertain to anyone. It made me think about my life and what I am doing with it.

Molly is currently going through chemo and she has had most of her frontal lobe removed due to a tumor. Instead of feeling sorry for herself, though at times I'm sure she does, she said she was looking over her past years of her life and (other than changing her new hardwood floors that she hates) she wouldn't change a thing. I thought about that and came up with many things I would change...none of them even coming close to having half my brain removed and going through chemo while having the toilet be my best friend as I puke my guts out. She also said that it was hard for her to look at her friends and see what they were doing with their lives and knowing that she could have been where they are but because of her tumor she isn't. She had a good job and a lot of money. Now she is struggling financially because she can't work and her life didn't turn out quite the way she planned...still she wouldn't change anything.

What am I complaining about?

I think this is a great group for Beau. The people are all so nice and Beau is able to talk about his experiences with people who know what he is going through. They give advice and encouragement. I did sit and cry for parts of it, which I knew I would do, but overall it was a wonderful experience and I can't wait to go back.

Beau and Melissa after the support group...

It was awesome to share this experience with Beau, Melissa, and Romi. They are three of the most amazing people I know...and I'm not just saying that. Beau is a hilarious and strong warrior, Melissa is an angel who is literally saving my brothers life and Romi is the one who keeps us all together. Without her I wouldn't know what to do. I look to her for all the answers, and believe it or not, she always has them...we'd all be lost without her. I am so lucky to have these three in my life.

Beau's MRI

When Beau started radiation I remember asking the doctor if this was going to help shrink his tumor. The doctor informed me that, unfortunately, "his tumor wouldn't shrink but that they were hoping to prevent it from growing any bigger". At the time I was shocked, scared, and sad because I thought the radiation would be able to get rid of some of it.

Beau had his MRI today and I was praying I would hear good news. I was thinking... please let the tumor remain the size it was before and not get any bigger and spread to more of his brain.

This morning I saw Beau's number on my caller ID and I felt like I was going to puke. He had been at the hospital all morning and they had given him the news on his MRI. (He said it was so weird to see the MRI and see a huge hole where a lot of his brain used to be. Wouldn't that be crazy? I can't imagine.) The doctors informed him that his tumor shrank. Let me say that again...SHRANK!!! WHAT? How can that be? They said his tumor wouldn't shrink. It is truly a miracle. Against all odds his tumor is smaller than it was before radiation. The doctors say they are hoping that it continues to shrink. He doesn't have to do chemo and he doesn't have to go back to the hospital for another two months. Words cannot express how happy and relieved I am. When he goes back in 2 months they will give him another MRI and see how things are looking. Hopefully it will be even smaller and he won't have to do chemo. I am so HAPPY!!

I want to thank everyone who has been praying for my brother. I know that your prayers have made a difference and I am so grateful to all of you.

NNNNOOOOOO!!

I got a call Friday night...Beau had another seizure. No way!!

I was just talking to him on Thursday night and he was so excited because he was FINALLY done with radiation.

I asked, "Beau what are you going to do all day tomorrow? You don't have to drive aaaallll the way to the hospital for your treatment."

He told me he didn't know but he was so glad not to be taking the trek to UW. I am sure Melissa was happy, also. Little did they know they would be making the trip after all.

Life is just NOT FAIR!!

In a nutshell...I guess Beau and Melissa took Piper and decided to go shopping at the mall. They had been shopping for a while when Melissa heard a commotion in the back of the store. She rushed back to find Beau on the ground having the biggest seizure she had seen. It wasn't as bad as the grand maul but she hadn't witness that one so this was very scary. He was shaking for about 30 seconds, or more, and afterwards he was totally out of it. Someone called 911 while a very nice lady took care of Piper because she started to freak out seeing her daddy this way.

Now, I understand that people have seizures but these are a little different because they are caused/related to his brain tumor. What was so disappointing was that he had gone all through radiation with flying colors. He was a little tired at times, he lost a lot of his hair because of the lasers, and he lost his sense of taste, temporarily. But all in all he had done amazing...then this!?! Poor Beau...and Melissa. I hate it!

Here is Beau after they had given him the clear to go home. They attempted to give him an IV but Beau's veins are so hard to find. They poked him a million times and were unable to get an IV started . It was just impossible. He was in incredible pain. They were fishing and fishing...it was awful. It was so hard to watch him hurting. He already had swollen areas and bruises where they pricked him.

Melissa was trying to help him rip off all of the tape. There was a ton of it.

Melissa's sister, Lindsey, took her to the hospital while Beau rode in the ambulance. She is an EMT so it is always nice to have her around. She keeps the nurses in check.Beau and his ladies.I was positive that my head was larger than Beau's. I have a giant economy size head. Come to find out Beau's is even larger... Romi wasn't even in the running. Her head is tiny.While we were in the room with Beau my bestest friend was doing this...sitting. For 2 HOURS. I am so thankful for her. She drove me all the way to the hospital and stayed the entire time. It was so nice to have her there. I am sure I would have freaked out had she not been there to calm me down. Thank you Jenn!! You are the BEST friend in the world.

The cute couple... Once again, Melissa, I want to thank you for taking such good care of my little bro. Words could never express how grateful I am to have you a part of our family. How did we get so lucky...especially Beau? I love you, both, with all of my heart.

P.S. I am aware that people think I am a crazy lady for bringing my camera everywhere I go. I am going to tell you though...one day you all will look back and be grateful I did. Guaranteed!! So make fun of me now, if you must, but you'll see. You'll thank me later. HA!

A Daughters Love...

My sister-in-law, Melissa posted this picture, on her blog, of Beau and Piper. I thought it was absolutely beautiful.

I had to share it.

Brother Beau

Today I got to take Beau to radiation. It was so nice to spend time with him. He is doing wonderful and he still has the BEST attitude ever. And look how handsome he is... He looks so good with a bald head.

Here is our brief conversation right before I snapped the photo...

Me: "Oh wait...let me fix my hair."

Beau: as he is swaying his head back and forth and running his fingers through his luxurious locks...

"Oh yeah...me too. How does it look?"

HA!! He is hilarious. It is fun to hang out with him because you always know you are going to laugh. What could be better than that?

Beau is doing fantastic. His radiation will end on the 15th of this month and then they will have an MRI so see how things are looking in his brain. If things are not as good as they would like he will have to do chemo. Ick! Obviously, he is hoping he won't have to do chemo but if he does I know he will do great. He has been a trooper through everything else and I am sure he will continue to have a great attitude. He feels your prayers everyday and knows he couldn't get through this without so many of you. Thank you for continuing to pray for my brother and his family.

Let the Radiation Begin...

Beau started radiation yesterday. He said it went great. He isn't feeling nauseous or even tired. The doctors said he may start having those symptoms in a few weeks, but maybe not. We are hoping not. Beau will be going for radiation Monday through Friday until October 15th. After he is done with radiation they are going to take some tests and see if the radiation is doing its job or if they need to proceed with chemo.

Today, he was in and out of the doctors office in 20 minutes. Nice! Beau told me today that, over time, the radiation may cause him to have a few bald spots where the lasers touch his skin. Oh well, we can just be twins.

Beau is feeling and looking great. This brain tumor didn't know who it was messing with when it decided to mess with my brother. Look out!

Happy 30th Beau

We all helped Beau celebrate his 30th birthday on August 29th. Along with Beau's birthday we were also celebrating Melissa's college graduation from WWU.Melissa made an awesome cake.

Beau likes dogs.

Happy Birthday Uncle!!Beau's scare is healing great. There is only a tiny swelling left on the side of his head. The one thing that we noticed was that he now has a small indention on the side. I think once the swelling is totally gone it will not be as noticeable. It really isn't that noticeable anyway though.

We sang a beautiful rendition of "Happy Birthday Graduation to you"...

Making a wish and blowing out the candles.

Apparently Beau is NOT a huge American Idol fan. The expression on his face says it all.

We got Beau a TapOut hat and shirt. He was trying so hard to look gangsta but he was laughing to hard and couldn't quite pull it off.Melissa got a lot of money.

You almost got the gangsta look this time Beau...Almost.Piper, Gunnar, and Lucas playing, oh, and Chance.

We love you so much Beau!

Happy Birthday...old man!

Beau's Walking...

That's right...look at him. He is in an upright, standing, position. You have no idea how wonderful it is to see him like this. I have not seen him in any other position, other than sitting or lying down, since he had his first seizure on July 17th. It took everything I had not to cry hysterically when I saw him get out of his car. I was just so excited. I was expecting a wheelchair or at least a walker but he did it all by himself. He walked right into the house and sat down. When it was time for dinner, he stood up and got his own plate. I can't believe it.
The boys were excited to see him, as well. We couldn't peel Coby from his side for the first half of the party. It was so nice to have him there.
I want you to know Beau that I am so proud of you. I know that I am the big sister so I am supposed to be an example to you, and teach you, but Beau you have now become the teacher. You are teaching me what it means to be strong and brave. You are teaching me not feel sorry for myself because I have a hang nail or a zit. You have taught me the importance of love and of family and of life.

*His head is looking so good. He only has the small pocket of fluid by his eye and that is it. AMAZING!!
If you are sad...call me. If you are mad...call me. If you are lonely...call me. If you want to fight...call me. If you need to cry...call me. If you need to laugh...call me. If you need to shop, by all means...call me. If you are frustrated...call me. If you are happy...call me. If you need to sit and do nothing...call me. I am here for you Beau and I wouldn't want to be any where else.
I love you with all of my heart little bro!

Beau Update

Beau is doing great.

He got the stitches out of his ankle and he is starting radiation prep tomorrow. He was feeling very nauseous for a long time but that is now subsiding. I just got off the phone with him and he said he is feeling wonderful and he isn't feeling sick at all...yay! As many of you already know the silly doctors gave him 2 to 3 years...HA! Beau is a fighter and he will get through this.

This picture was taken yesterday, I think (I stole it from Melissa's Facebook). As you can see Beau has a lot of "swelling" on the left side of his head. It is actually a liquid buildup in his head and the liquid will be absorbed over time. I saw him a few days ago and it has already gone down a lot.

I will keep you posted.

Broken Ankle...

are you kidding me? I got a call from my mom today and she said that Beau was rushed back to UW in an ambulance. Apparently, he was walking back to bed after a shower and he had another seizure. The seizure caused him to fall. They did x-rays and determined he had a broken ankle and a fractured shoulder. The doctors said he needs surgery on his ankle and a plate put in but he doesn't want surgery. They are casting it now but think if he doesn't have the surgery on his ankle it will cause a lot of pain and arthritis in the future. I think he is done, for the time being, with surgeries and hospitals. I am so sad for him. This is the last thing he needs right now. I'm sorry Beau.

Post-op

Rocky, Romi, and I went to see Beau the Wednesday after his surgery. He was doing great. He was in a little/a lot of pain but he was still able to talk and joke with us. He looked wonderful, considering what he had just gone through.

His face was swollen and he had a black eye from all of the trauma to his head. He had to keep this cap on to cover up the majority of his incision but there was a little poking through the bottom. It starts at his ear and goes around his head all the way to the middle of his forehead. It is in the shape of a large question mark.

I cannot believe how great Beau is doing and, more importantly, neither can his doctors. As I am writing this post, on Saturday August 1st, Beau is at home and in his own bed. He went straight from the ICU at UW to his own bed. Can you believe it? He was so determined to go home yesterday that he even got up and walked around (with help from a walker). They weren't sure if he was even going to be able to walk or if he was going to have to have a lot of physical therapy. Well, he surprised everybody. Four days after brain surgery he was walking and wanting to go home. The drainage tube was removed from his head on Friday and they let him go home. I am so proud of him. It is going to be a long road but Beau is so strong and determined to recover quickly that he is surprising everyone.

You are an inspiration to us all Beau. Way to fight!

A Blessing For Beau

The night before Beau's surgery. The family gathered at Beau's in-laws. My dad was going to give him a blessing. It was beautiful to see everyone there and to hear the blessing my dad gave him. It was very emotional.
The happy family.
John stood in the circle along with Dan, Clark Balessa, and my cousin Aaron who drove down with my cousin Darci and her three kids. It was so nice of them to be there. I love you brother.Darci and her kids Katie, Logan, and Aaron and Darci

I haven't seen my cousin Darci in years. We were best friends growing up and I love her dearly. She now lives in Alaska with her husband, Ed, who is in the military and deployed at the moment. It was so nice to see her and her family.